i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
