Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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