i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
birth control should be required to get into college
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
