At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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