Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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