I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
