I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
