You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
