i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
