had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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