I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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