She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
