Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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