am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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