is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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