Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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