So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
