I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
