I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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