But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
