omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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