i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
