No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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