I'm jealous of your bromance
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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