Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
