Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
