and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
