they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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