Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
