made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
