I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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