Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
