I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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