I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
