Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
