i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
