so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
