Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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