Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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