We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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