He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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