if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
