Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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