Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
