She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
