And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
