You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
