I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
