We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
