He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
